Model behavior

Anthony looks over his creations, including a wooden plane I built for him when he as six.

Anthony displays his latest model, the U.S. Navy's Avenger

AUBURN, Maine - It is that hands-on-experience that makes this hobby more appealing and educational than any video game on the market.

For this family, the WEE is not for us, and video games are as enjoyable as watching me weed the garden or sweeping the driveway. Spending hours in front of a computer screen knocking off bad guys or shooting a basketball with the push of button really isn't entertaining for a family who would rather walk the beach or hike a small mountain.

Putting together the Titanic, the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Enterprise or adding the finishing touches to the turret of a Sherman tank is an incredible learning experience for a child who wants to know how things work and how these magnificent machines have changed the entire planet and interact with mankind.

This unique hobby allows anyone to build a ship, plane or muscle car on a kitchen table in the privacy of their own home. And when these projects come to fruition, the proud and industrious creators of these plastic or wooden wonders end up learning about history as well as how each part of an automobile or plane functions.

Building plastic or wooden models require brains, patience, engineuity and resourcefulness, and all four prerequisites can be taught to your child for the cost of glue and a model. 

The only educational toys that come close to building a model of the Hindenburg are Legos or Erector sets, and my son is a master builder of ships using Legos. 

A WORK IN PROGRESS: The Nantucket takes shape.

For us, video games are a straight waste of our time, but building a model with my precious son is a rewarding experience that enlightens us and gives a father and son an opportunity to work together on a project that involves a great deal of creativity and teamwork.

All work and all play

While the winter winds howl outside and we are forced to spend most of time indoors taking cover from the elements, my son is working on three models,  which include the Avenger, the U.S. Navy's World War II vintage torpedo bomber, the lightship "Nantucket" and the U.S.S. Oliver Hazard Perry, a guided missile frigate.

We have just finished spray painting parts to the Avenger and the Nantucket. The Avenger, in all its deadly splendor, was completed today.

But models are not cheap, and the purchase of large-scale and intricate behemoths that are sometimes motorized can run well over a $100, and if painting and batteries are required, then it really puts the hurt in your wallet. The U.S.S. Melvin has a complicated motor and is about three feet long and cost nearly $100, but we purchased it for far less at a discount store.

Building the wooden planes and ships that I have done in the past for my son certainly put my woodworking skills to the test, but the love that went into those projects were for a son who enjoys learning and is an outstanding student, and that is why there is no comparison when it comes to model-making or video games.

Anthony's boat clock he built in tech lab.

Anthony and I started making models (our first was a 1930s pick-up truck) when he was just five years old, and about four years later, he completed a model of the Titanic,which is difficult for an adult, never a mind a 9 year old.

He was hooked after completing his first model, and video games never became a priority in life. Thanks to his making of model ships, he has become an authority on naval crafts dating as far back as the 1500s. 

A majority of Anthony's knowledge about navy ships and warplanes was ascertained from building models, books and the Internet.

So much for video games.

Jeopardizing our sanity

AUBURN, Maine — Alex, please pull the plug on Watson and allow real, live human beings to continue answering those tough questions about history, math and science on "Jeopardy."

Watching Watson reel off correct responses at a velocity that would make any NASCAR driver's head spin was as exciting as watching me butter toast or raking leaves.

No kidding, Mr. Trebek,  button up Watson and give us back the carbon units (Star Trek still rules). Human beings make great contestants compared to a bucket of wires and bulbs that has the personality of a rotting tree stump.

"Jeopardy" is one of the few game shows that places extraordinary demands on smart minds. Placing that miniature monolith of a computer between Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter was an insult to mankind.

So Watson is fast and answers just about anything! Wow! What will they think of next! I am still excited about the invention of the wheel and discovery of fire.

After one night of witnessing Watson trying to make two smart men obsolete, I was more than eager to watch endless reruns of "The Three Stooges." Moe, Larry and Curly would make much better contestants than this high-tech know-it-all.

But what computer geeks forget is this maze of wiring and switches was brought to fruition by men, who will always be superior to machines. Watson's "traveling at the speed of light" brain isn't really that impressive in an age when the average laptop still amazes me.

For the last three nights, those of us with sound minds have endured watching this monolith, which seems like a refugee from "2001: A Space Odyssey," spit out answers like a .50-caliber machine gun. This bland computer had me hoping an astronaut would appear and silence this sophisticated blabbermouth like he did when he pulled HAL's guts apart in a "Space Odyssey."

Sure, human beings are frail, get old, commit crimes and eventually die, but a brainiac computer doesn't even come close to standing in for human contestants.

Alex, I hope Watson's debut was a once-in-a-lifetime appearance for the sake of all mankind and "Jeopardy's" ratings and humanity.

Technology is remarkable and certainly has a place in society, and Watson is truly a wonder. But it is a machine  conceived by men, and Watson's vast technological mind will never, ever top the birth of a child and the unconditional love that accompanies a newborn's arrival on earth.

And I am betting Watson doesn't have the correct answer for my response!

Hitting the slopes

 

"Skiing is a dance, and the mountain always leads." 

                                                                 Author Unknown

AUBURN, Maine — He's tried his hand at baseball, kicked around a soccer ball, ran track one summer, swam miles in an Olympic-size pool without drowning, but when my son slipped on a pair of skis and raced down white powdery slopes, he found another passion in the dead of winter on a wind-swept, snow-covered mountain.

Where did I go wrong!

Who would have figured my lanky 14 year old would rather barrel down the side of a frigid mountain than play catch or toss around the old pigskin with his dear-old dad.

Just what the heck happened here, anyway? He is about to become a ski bum. Fellow skiers will start calling him DUDE! I will continue to address him as Anthony even though he is joining the high-flyin' clan at Dude World.

He had to go and choose one of the most expensive outdoor sports, where snow, wind and cold wreak havoc on a soul. Paying for swimming lessons is like a drop in the bucket compared to buying a season pass and skis. I am a cash-strapped dad who will need to apply for a second mortgage on my house to pay for his need for speed on winter-whipped days. Track and swimming require shorts, sneakers and goggles. All you need for baseball is a glove, ball and bat. Soccer is easy on the wallet, too.

Most sane people remain indoors when Old Man Winter gets his dander up, but my son ignores Arctic blasts from Canada and heads up the mountain despite bone-chilling cold and falling snow. He is like "Jeremiah Johnson" and "Grizzly Adams" all rolled into one when it comes to the Great Outdoors - and I love him for his tenacity when it comes to his love of nature.

I watch from the huge windows at Lost Valley as he waves from the lift. My heart is my mouth when he takes that slow ride to the top. We both understand there is a great deal of risk that comes with gliding through the snow on a pair of skis. There is danger in this sport, and people have been injured on the slopes around the world.

I worry, but I am so damn proud of him. I believe it takes a certain amount of courage and insanity to speed down a mountain on two narrow skis. 


Just standing on skis without crashing to the ground is an accomplishment for me.

But how can I say no to an honor student who prefers books to video games and the vast wasteland of television. I would rather see him doing laps in a warm pool. Watching him whizzing around snow-packed slopes on cold winter days gives me the chills.

I know he still enjoys swimming, but skiing is now a part of his life, and I would rather see him criss-cross the slopes than have a joy stick in his lap and eyes trained on a video game. There is also a risk when a precious child spends hours in front of a computer monitor and ignores his parents and the outdoors.

I am betting the entire family will become nomads in the winter, spending a lot of time at lodges around Maine next season. But while he skis, I will be traipsing around the base of the mountain on snowshoes.

I can't let him have all the fun - and snowshoeing will help me keep my mind off my son as he traverses the snowy slopes.

Dinosaur discovered

AUBURN, Maine - A large dinosaur skull that was discovered in a homeowner's backyard has left local authorities and archeologists scratching their heads over how it got there.

"This is one of the most exciting finds in the state of Maine," said Thomas McCoy, curator of the Johnson Museum in northern Maine. "I can only speculate how this behemoth emerged from the soil and under this guy's porch."

The ancient skull was found after a father and son were shoveling the driveway when they first noticed the giant bone protruding from the snow.

"I am simply baffled," said homeowner Johnny Dig-a-ditch-eo, who is also an amateur dinosaur hunter. "This is just freaking crazy to see a large dinosaur head underneath my porch. Can you believe it."

By Sunday afternoon, curious neighbors began surrounding the property to get a look at the bleached skull.

"Like, I can't believe this thing. It's like a giant monster," said Serena Augustas of Portland.

Augustas heard something about the unusual find on Facebook and just had to see it for herself.

Archeologist George Franco, of the National Institute of Old Bones, said he is trying to obtain permission from the homeowner to have the site excavated.

But Dig-a-Ditch-eo is not sure if he wants to part with the skull.

"Hey, I might start charging people who want to take a look at this thing. Times are tough and I could use the money," said the stunned homeowner, as a crowd continued to circle the find.

Are you serious? Aah, not really!

Obviously, this tongue-and-cheek news story is really about a father and son who had the time of their lives modeling a dinosaur out of snow, which continues to fall with no end in sight during this outlandish winter.

We didn't need video games or a television set to spend a Sunday afternoon together. All we required was a shovel and some serious imagination to create this monstrosity from the past.

The sun was out, temperatures reached the mid 40s, which is like beach weather after days of below-normal temperatures in the Pine Tree State, and the snow was like clay. To spend such a wonderful day inside messing with a computer or watching another pathetic television show is a travesty and a missed opportunity to spend time with my child.

I am a proud and attentive father who discovered long ago that children want the time of day and attention from their parents. A trip to Disney World would be a wonderful event for this cash-strapped family, but a 100-mile drive to Fort Knox and checking out 10- and 12-inch Civil-War era cannon is a better buy and an opportunity for this family of three to step back in the past and enjoy the Pine Tree's rich history.

Time is always of the essence when it comes to forging an unbreakable bond with your child.

Archie "Moonlight" Graham, the lovable character in "Field of Dreams," put it this way: 

"We don't recognize our most significant moments while they're happening. Back then I thought, Well, there'll be other days. I didn't realize that was the only day."

While there will be other days with my son, Sunday was the only day to bring that dinosaur to life.

If I were in charge of the world

 

The poet in residence

If I were in charge of the world,

I'd end all wars

we'd eat s'mores and

I would make chocolate milk the drink of the world

 

If I were in charge of the world,

I'd make mozzarella sticks good for people

Everyday would be a holiday

We'd all be nice to beetles and

Every one would read an hour a day

 

If I were in charge of the world

all cars and televisions would be demolished

We'd use airships instead of air planes

global warming would be abolished and

I'd make trains cleaner inside

 

If I were in charge of the world,

there would be fewer people like George Bush

All war movies would be G

and a person who sometimes forgot to help

and some times got caught in kelp

would still be allowed to be

in charge of the world

 

Written by my son two years ago

Weathering Mother Nature

AUBURN, Maine — The weather guys and gals were in the ball park this time.

 

This winter storms that packed a 1-2 punch hit New England dead on Tuesday and Wednesday, leaving about  a total of 15 inches of snow in their wake. But these were not epic snowstorms that shut down communities for days and left cars and trucks stranded on interstates across the six-state region.

 

The benchmark for all New Englanders who were around on that tranquil February day is the Blizzard of 1978, where Boston nearly received nearly three feet of snow in 33 hours, closed roads and highways for a week, and killed 76 people in New England. So these storms have got nothing on the '78 Blizzard.

If anything, these were run-of-the-mill storms that added aggravation to frustrated New Englanders who are hoping February makes a quick exit and March is balmy and sunny.

 

But it has been fun to watch TV reporters standing outside and measuring snow with their hands and tell us all what we already knew when we looked outside a window or picked up a shovel on Wednesday —  there was a lot of snow on the ground.

 

The white stuff fell fast, and you know it is a premium storm when the city snowplow driver yells from his window, "It fell too damn fast." 

 

Indeed it did, damn it!  

 

The driver of the plow smiled, and with one swipe of industrial-strength blade, my driveways were sealed with a barrier of heavy snow that resembled the Great Wall of China. There is not much a home owner can do when those mammoth snow plows bury driveways and walkways in one felt swoop. They are only doing their job. Yelling or signaling them with a middle finger to demonstrate your anger when snow is pushed across your driveway only proves you are a moron.

 

The white stuff can't stay in the street forever.

 

There are a pair of small storms on deck for Saturday and next Tuesday. Those storms will give us another couple of days to lament about Old Man Winter and his underhandedness.But I have made my peace with this grumpy old man, who will hang around for another two months before spring shoves him aside and turns white into green.  

Stormy weather

AUBURN, Maine - Doom is upon us.

That's what our weathermen have been prophesying since the weekend. This could be the big one — the one to dwarf all other snowstorms this season and perhaps end civilization as we know it in New England.

Time to head to the grocery store and buy food!

Armageddon is on our doorstep and the slayer of this frozen tundra is dressed in white. We now look to the skies and cower in our warm homes as another Nor'easter bears down on Maine.

Farewell world!

OK, enough with all this melodrama over Old Man Winter's assault on Merry Ole New England.

It is going to snow. That's what happens here in the Pine Tree State. It is supposed to snow, and zero temperatures are par for the course in the hinterlands. Can't take it? If you don't mind the bugs, alligators and humidity, head to Florida to avoid winter's onslaught.

According to weather prognosticators, most of this state will receive anywhere from 12 to 24 inches of the white stuff. Ski country will celebrate and roll out the welcome wagon when the skies open up and blanket the slopes with white gold. Our neighbors to our south, particularly winter-weary Boston, do not appreciate Old Man Winter's generosity with snow.

No sir!

Bostonians have been exasperated from these weekly storms that have made their narrow streets nearly impassable as the murder rate of car batteries skyrocket from arctic fronts that come and go like the tides at Revere Beach.

But this is Maine where snowmobilers, skiers, snowshoers and ice fishermen embrace snowstorms like an old friend from high school. Mainers expect snowstorms to unload on them and simply dress warmer when a cold front slips down from Canada. It is a compromise that all reluctant Mainers understand when a beautiful fall gives way to an ugly winter.

Anyway, it is going to snow hard on Wednesday and children will rejoice when school has been cancelled thanks Old Man Winter's icy hands. Confidence is high that school will be a no-go on Wednesday.

Mainers will do what they usually do when a snowstorm approaches. They will have a snow shovel handy, their snowblowers ready to go and meet another Nor'easter head on with the tenacity of  Colonel Joshua Chamberlain and his 20th Maine when they faced the Rebels at Little Round Top at Gettysburg in the summer of 1863.

 

The poet in all of us

This was poem was written by a dedicated and intelligent seven-grader who just happens to be my son.

TheDoer

 

I am a doer

I wonder how to do new things

I hear the voices of people through history

I see pictures of the future

I want to do more always

 

I pretend to be someone

to see how it feels

I feel like an eagle, ready to dive

I touch something that is not there

I laugh at the bird,

as he does a little dance.

I worry for the things that cannot fend for themselves

 

I understand I cannot do everything

I say that people should not hate

I dream about things that happened before

I try to do more everyday

I hope that hate will be stopped

I am a doer 

September 1, 2009

Heard it all before

"“In politics stupidity is not a handicap."
                                                                                                             - Napoleon Bonaparte




We all heard about the Bottom Line during President Obama's inspiring State of the Union speech Tuesday night.


It is reassuring to see the president and the rest the nation's statesmen trying to get to the bottom of America's hair-raising recession.


It took them long enough.


We listened to how the president will work in harmony with Congress (add canned laughter here) to cut the deficit (this we gotta see), curb spending (Sure thing!) and create jobs (that's a good one).


Sounds good, Mr. President!, and oh, good luck!

You are at your finest at the podium, sir, and I appreciate your exuberance from a man who has the most arduous and thankless job in America, but at least you have a job, Mr. President. I am also fortunate to be employed.


While I admire your pluck and enjoy a profound speech from an eloquent speaker like yourself, I am betting weary citizens of this mismanaged nation, no longer listen or could care less about another politician pontificating.  


I am betting Congress hasn't looked outside a window, read a morning newspaper (sound out the words) or opened a letter from one of their constituents who lost a job and home. The last time I took a good look around my town, there were boarded-up buildings, a foreclosure sign on nearly every block, and now I see people holding signs, begging for work - or worse - food.


Thanks for the awesome speech, Mr. President, but unless the gang of 535 shows some signs of life and evidence of clear thinking on Capitol Hill, more disenfranchised Americans will consider writing in their cat or dog for senator or the next president of the United States.


Words are worthless when you don't have a job or a place to live. I still don't understand how anything in Washington comes to fruition when the nations' leaders can't find common ground and continually display the fine art of bickering. Turn on C-Span and painfully watch as politicians go through the motions. It is like watching grass grow - or the New England Patriots taking a nap in the playoffs.


The deficit - So all of you have been shouting about the evils of out-of-control spending. Where were you guys and gals when President Bush was nestled in the White House and spending wasn't such a big deal?


Wanna cut the deficit? Here's how!


Cut every, and I mean every Congressman's salary in half — except President' Obama's paycheck. Can't be done? Why not! We all have to bite the bullet. Why not you guys and gals on the Hill! Remember when (and this where you have to know your history) President Franklin Delano Roosevelt asked the affluent to step up and take dollar-a-week government jobs when the country was mired war and suffering from a hangover from the Great Depression. So please don't make us wince with another empty speech on the House floor.


2. Make a graceful exit from Iraq and Afghanistan and return these fine men and women in uniform home.There is no way America can fight two wars, and then cut taxes. Sure, I love tax breaks, but how do we pay the braves guys and gals who are putting it all on the line around the globe. As far as I am concerned, our servicemen should be paid the $200,000 salary that Congressmen receive.


Here is my favorite — the economy and jobs.


What jobs! Our wise leaders and businessmen moved the well-paying jobs overseas so we can pay some poor schmuck 25 cents an hour to make dungarees that fall apart. If there is a really big war, we are in really big trouble because we don't have a manufacturing base. So what do we do when one of our adversaries goes ballistic? Call China and order our uniforms and tanks. Until the 17 million unemployed people find decent jobs, American businesses will continue to disappear and foreclosed homes will be as abundant as sand on a beach.


I am astounded by Republicans and some Democrats who have made repealing Obama's health-care plan their Holy Grail. People are out of work and can't feed their families. China has become this nation's landlord, and that doesn't sit well with many Americans. And our statesmen continue to lash out over a health-care plan that all Americans deserve. By the way, Congress is provided with Cadillac insurance courtesy of taxpayers.


What are the cures to this economic debacle? Well, there are allegedly 535 educated men and women sitting around in Washington D.C. trying to come up with an answer — between all the finger-pointing.


I know one thing is for certain: Another rousing speech won't help the guy out on the street looking for his next meal.