Sign of things to come

"Among famous traitors of history one might mention the weather."

                                                                         Ilka Chase 


AUBURN, Maine - Mother Nature has some nerve!

It's the day before Halloween and Mother Earth has conjured up a rare autumn Nor'easter and aimed it directly at Merry Ole New England.

Thanks a bunch, ma'am!

I just cut the lawn on Wednesday and now I am shoveling on Sunday. Give me a break!

I know it is not personal, but couldn't this freak of nature have waited until at least December? Why panic New Englanders who were frantically clearing out their sheds to get at their entombed snowblowers.

Like Maine doesn't get enough snow!

Being on the receiving end of a Nor'easter is no fun and it is as annoying as seeing signs of Christmas in stores across the mall in early October.

So now it's lights out for the entire northeast as tree limbs and wires come tumbling down due to heavy wet snow. It is the kind of white stuff that triggers heart attacks, not to mention depression and anxiety. Thousands have lost power and their patience.

I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore even though my anger is obviously misdirected, especially when Mother Nature always has the final say in these matters.

I know ski areas will be delighted out in the hinterlands with the early arrival of a blizzard that usually doesn't appear on Maine's radar until January, but for those of us who have a low tolerance for the flaky white stuff in Maine's huge metropolitan cities, this is just a damn nuisance.

For the past few days, weathermen have been predicting 5 to 10 inches of snow. I thought they were out of their minds and their computer models were sabotaged by terrorists. I didn't pay attention to them, putting all my money on Mother Nature to pull a fast one and foul up another weather report. It is October, not January, and suddenly these guys are talking about a Nor'easter and heavy snow.

Get real!

Unfortunately, meteorologists were right on the nose with this prediction in some areas of the nation. Today, Maine and the rest of the Northeast is draped in a blanket of snow stretching all the way to Maryland and Virginia. It's not funny.

Perhaps the apocalypse is upon us - although I doubt it.

I tore open the shudders and threw open the sash Sunday morning, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but heavy gooey snow and no tiny reindeer. I heard the sound of snowblowers off in the distance and shovels scraping the pavement as bewildered Mainers dug their way out of this mess.

I shook my head and reached for the coffee, because you can't talk to me without my first cup of coffee. I am hearing impaired until I down my first cup. The world could be ending, but that would have to wait until I have my first cup of black gold, with cream and sugar, of course.

But Auburn was spared, well sort of, after this fast-moving storm raced toward Canada. We received about three inches and it is melting as I write. In two days, central Maine will become one giant puddle as temperatures soar into the high 50s.

I am not sorry to see it disappear, knowing all too well Old Man Winter isn't done with us, yet.

Weathering Mother Nature

AUBURN, Maine — The weather guys and gals were in the ball park this time.

 

This winter storms that packed a 1-2 punch hit New England dead on Tuesday and Wednesday, leaving about  a total of 15 inches of snow in their wake. But these were not epic snowstorms that shut down communities for days and left cars and trucks stranded on interstates across the six-state region.

 

The benchmark for all New Englanders who were around on that tranquil February day is the Blizzard of 1978, where Boston nearly received nearly three feet of snow in 33 hours, closed roads and highways for a week, and killed 76 people in New England. So these storms have got nothing on the '78 Blizzard.

If anything, these were run-of-the-mill storms that added aggravation to frustrated New Englanders who are hoping February makes a quick exit and March is balmy and sunny.

 

But it has been fun to watch TV reporters standing outside and measuring snow with their hands and tell us all what we already knew when we looked outside a window or picked up a shovel on Wednesday —  there was a lot of snow on the ground.

 

The white stuff fell fast, and you know it is a premium storm when the city snowplow driver yells from his window, "It fell too damn fast." 

 

Indeed it did, damn it!  

 

The driver of the plow smiled, and with one swipe of industrial-strength blade, my driveways were sealed with a barrier of heavy snow that resembled the Great Wall of China. There is not much a home owner can do when those mammoth snow plows bury driveways and walkways in one felt swoop. They are only doing their job. Yelling or signaling them with a middle finger to demonstrate your anger when snow is pushed across your driveway only proves you are a moron.

 

The white stuff can't stay in the street forever.

 

There are a pair of small storms on deck for Saturday and next Tuesday. Those storms will give us another couple of days to lament about Old Man Winter and his underhandedness.But I have made my peace with this grumpy old man, who will hang around for another two months before spring shoves him aside and turns white into green.