AUBURN, Maine — Alex, please pull the plug on Watson and allow real, live human beings to continue answering those tough questions about history, math and science on "Jeopardy."
Watching Watson reel off correct responses at a velocity that would make any NASCAR driver's head spin was as exciting as watching me butter toast or raking leaves.
No kidding, Mr. Trebek, button up Watson and give us back the carbon units (Star Trek still rules). Human beings make great contestants compared to a bucket of wires and bulbs that has the personality of a rotting tree stump.
"Jeopardy" is one of the few game shows that places extraordinary demands on smart minds. Placing that miniature monolith of a computer between Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter was an insult to mankind.
So Watson is fast and answers just about anything! Wow! What will they think of next! I am still excited about the invention of the wheel and discovery of fire.
After one night of witnessing Watson trying to make two smart men obsolete, I was more than eager to watch endless reruns of "The Three Stooges." Moe, Larry and Curly would make much better contestants than this high-tech know-it-all.
But what computer geeks forget is this maze of wiring and switches was brought to fruition by men, who will always be superior to machines. Watson's "traveling at the speed of light" brain isn't really that impressive in an age when the average laptop still amazes me.
For the last three nights, those of us with sound minds have endured watching this monolith, which seems like a refugee from "2001: A Space Odyssey," spit out answers like a .50-caliber machine gun. This bland computer had me hoping an astronaut would appear and silence this sophisticated blabbermouth like he did when he pulled HAL's guts apart in a "Space Odyssey."
Sure, human beings are frail, get old, commit crimes and eventually die, but a brainiac computer doesn't even come close to standing in for human contestants.
Alex, I hope Watson's debut was a once-in-a-lifetime appearance for the sake of all mankind and "Jeopardy's" ratings and humanity.
Technology is remarkable and certainly has a place in society, and Watson is truly a wonder. But it is a machine conceived by men, and Watson's vast technological mind will never, ever top the birth of a child and the unconditional love that accompanies a newborn's arrival on earth.
And I am betting Watson doesn't have the correct answer for my response!
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