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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Goodfellows52: Sign of things to come

Goodfellows52: Sign of things to come: AUBURN, Maine - Mother Nature has some nerve! It's the day before Halloween and Mother Earth has conjured up a ra...

Sign of things to come









"Among famous traitors of history one might mention the weather."
                                                                         Ilka Chase 


AUBURN, Maine - Mother Nature has some nerve!

It's the day before Halloween and Mother Earth has conjured up a rare autumn Nor'easter and aimed it directly at Merry Ole New England.

Thanks a bunch, ma'am!

I just cut the lawn on Wednesday and now I am shoveling on Sunday. Give me a break!

I know it is not personal, but couldn't this freak of nature have waited until at least December? Why panic New Englanders who were frantically clearing out their sheds to get at their entombed snowblowers.

Like Maine doesn't get enough snow!

Being on the receiving end of a Nor'easter is no fun and it is as annoying as seeing signs of Christmas in stores across the mall in early October.

So now it's lights out for the entire northeast as tree limbs and wires come tumbling down due to heavy wet snow. It is the kind of white stuff that triggers heart attacks, not to mention depression and anxiety. Thousands have lost power and their patience.

I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore even though my anger is obviously misdirected, especially when Mother Nature always has the final say in these matters.

I know ski areas will be delighted out in the hinterlands with the early arrival of a blizzard that usually doesn't appear on Maine's radar until January, but for those of us who have a low tolerance for the flaky white stuff in Maine's huge metropolitan cities, this is just a damn nuisance.

For the past few days, weathermen have been predicting 5 to 10 inches of snow. I thought they were out of their minds and their computer models were sabotaged by terrorists. I didn't pay attention to them, putting all my money on Mother Nature to pull a fast one and foul up another weather report. It is October, not January, and suddenly these guys are talking about a Nor'easter and heavy snow.

Get real!

Unfortunately, meteorologists were right on the nose with this prediction in some areas of the nation. Today, Maine and the rest of the Northeast is draped in a blanket of snow stretching all the way to Maryland and Virginia. It's not funny.

Perhaps the apocalypse is upon us - although I doubt it.

I tore open the shudders and threw open the sash Sunday morning, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but heavy gooey snow and no tiny reindeer. I heard the sound of snowblowers off in the distance and shovels scraping the pavement as bewildered Mainers dug their way out of this mess.

I shook my head and reached for the coffee, because you can't talk to me without my first cup of coffee. I am hearing impaired until I down my first cup. The world could be ending, but that would have to wait until I have my first cup of black gold, with cream and sugar, of course.
But Auburn was spared, well sort of, after this fast-moving storm raced toward Canada. We received about three inches and it is melting as I write. In two days, central Maine will become one giant puddle as temperatures soar into the high 50s.
I am not sorry to see it disappear, knowing all too well Old Man Winter isn't done with us, yet.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Goodfellows52: FRIGHT NIGHT

Goodfellows52: FRIGHT NIGHT: "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." -...

FRIGHT NIGHT







"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." - H. P. Lovecraft

AUBURN — Since we all have crosses to bear, I decided to build two of mine out of wood to celebrate Halloween, and maybe, just maybe, have a devil of a good time spooking trick-or-treaters on my front lawn.

I am not a big fan of a holiday that observes things that go bump in the night and turns sane adults into candy pushers who are complicit in triggering a nationwide sugar high among this nation's youth for several days. My wife and son, on the other hand, enjoy being rattled by a good ghost story as well as putting up Halloween decorations and butchering, aaah, I mean carving a pumpkin.

I couldn't care less about zombies, vampires, ghosts, the undead, and no, I am not referring to members of congress. What frightens me about this night is the spike in cavities across this great nation — and the fear of rational adults handing out healthy treats.

When I was a kid a couple of centuries ago, I thought it was a nightmare to receive a nutritious snack instead of a chocolate bar. It was like staying after school for talking too much in class. How could grownups traumatize a child who longed for a bag full of M&Ms and Malo Cups? Finding a fruit bar at the bottom of my bag was like getting pajamas for Christmas.

No toys! What was up with Santa, anyway!

But this Halloween, my son wanted to go all out and shake up the neighborhood kids with more spooky stuff. I suggested we use leftover two-by-fours and build a pair of crosses to send chills up our neighbor's spines. But I wasn't sure what names to use on our grave markers. Anthony didn't flinch when he suggested the last names of Terry Francona and Theo Epstein, the Boston Red Sox's manager and general manager who are no longer employed with a baseball team that burned up in orbit at the end of the season.

I smiled, got out my wood-burning tool and went to work on the crosses. I love the smell of burning pine as I carved deep letters into the soft wood. I put my skill-saw and tape measure to good use to make our macabre endeavor come to fruition. We stained our crosses to make our grave markers weather resistant and then surveyed the front lawn to choose a location that would induce nightmares for weeks to come. I understand that location is everything when it comes to scaring unsuspecting trick-or-treaters out of their socks.

But please understand that I had no desire to see Francona or Epstein banished from the Sox organization. These guys brought starving Red Sox fans two World Series titles after decades of disappointment. I was not happy to see these fine men leave Beantown. I didn't show up at Fenway Park with a mob, and sickles and torches in hand, demanding to see heads role. So, when you see our crosses bearing the names of these two fine human beings on my front lawn during this evening of fright, this is not a demonstration of anger toward two men who ended Boston's drought. This father-and-son duo is merely having a little fun at the expense of the Boston Red Sox.

Besides I will never understand how fans go berserk when their team comes undone or how they "hate" an opposing team. Look, I grew up 10 miles from Friendly Fenway, but there has never been a day when I uttered the phrase, "I hate those damn Yankees." I don't hate the damn Yankees, Montreal Canadiens, New York Jets or the Los Angeles Lakers. I do enjoy watching the Yanks take it on the chin when they play Boston, but I also think Derek Jeter is a class act. I do not carry a grudge against Bill Buckner. And I was hoping Francona would stay on for another year.
So the Red Sox had a meltdown and missed the playoffs. Life goes on, and there will be other seasons for Boston to make amends

So lighten up, and remember, this is not a trick, but a treat. So take this candy bar as an expression of our goodwill. But we also hope you leave our front lawn frightened and looking over your shoulder when things do go bump in the night. 


Sunday, October 9, 2011

Goodfellows52: The summer wind

Goodfellows52: The summer wind: Pleasure craft sail around the harbor at the Eastern Prom in Portland. Anthony strolls the beach in Portland. The father-and-s...

The summer wind


Pleasure craft sail around the harbor at the Eastern Prom in Portland.
Anthony strolls the beach in Portland.


The father-and-son enjoy a rare warm October day.
A duck boat motors around the harbor

The Jewel dwarfs boats in the harbor.

A breach-loading cannon from the U.S.S. Maine that was sunk in Havana harbor and triggered the war between the United States and Spain.

The U.S. flag still waves from the mast of the U.S.S. Portland.
PORTLAND - I am not sure if global warming has had a hand in this smoldering weather or Mother Nature is just being charitable before winter closes in and locks us in an icy vise for the next five months.

Whatever the explanation, summer's searing heat returned to New England on an October weekend which is usually cold and windy, and reserved for raking leaves, watching high school football games, and stocking firewood.

Two nights ago, temperatures plummeted into the low 30s, opening the door for Jack Frost to take out what was left of my garden.

For two days, chilly weather settled over New England. The smell of smoking hot wood stoves drifted over my neighborhood as Mainers reluctantly turned on their furnaces for the first time since May. It was cold enough to snow and I saw people in fall jackets.

I was about to bow to Old Man Winter and brace myself for the cold and snow that will soon wreak havoc on the six-state region.

But this weekend, summer snuck back into New England and broiled the state of Maine. The cold nights disappeared and the humidity returned. I turned on a pair fans, which is unheard of in October.

The humid weather gave us an excuse to pack sandwiches, head to the Eastern Prom in Portland, walk the pristine beach and simply enjoy the warm sun.

We weren't the only Mainers who shunned their TVs, laptops and shutoff their cell phones for a walk along a crowded beach. Thousands of Pine Tree natives were strolling the Eastern Prom or weaving in out of the crowds at the Old Port. A cruise ship, "The Jewel" was parked along the wharf. It is a floating city that dwarfed all other boats and ships in the harbor.

Temperatures rose to the mid 80s. Beach-goers threw themselves in the water as landlubbers basked in the burning sun. Shorts and bathing suits were the attire for the day. Runners and cyclists were out in full force. Sailing craft of all sizes headed for open seas.

As I can remember, the second weekend in October was usually cold, damp cloudy and just plain windy.

But summer found its way in New England and chased away Autumn's chill, treating Mainers to a brief respite before Winter has the final say.   

Out and about

Take a walk on the wild side around New England's outdoors. Come walk with my son and I as we explore state parks, historic sites, and creepy cemeteries. This is the good stuff in life, and there is nothing worth watching on television, anyway. Join us as we take advantage of Maine's beaches and pristine forests. In between our sojourns through the Pine Tree State, look for political insight and a few well-written opinion pieces as well.