Father tries to know best

No man can possibly
know what life means, what the
world means, until he has a child and loves it. And
then the whole universe changes
and nothing will ever again seem
exactly as it seemed before.

- Lafcadio Hearn

POLAND, Maine - No tie, shirt or money. I was not presented with a power tool, a lifetime subscription to "Sports Illustrated" or served breakfast in bed.

I didn't even get to sleep late. I left a wake-up call for 8:30 a.m.

I was given a thoughtful card and a shout-out from my wife, wishing me happy Father's Day as I stumbled toward the coffee pot Sunday morning.

All I requested was a homemade strawberry pie (Terri can put Martha Stewart to shame in the kitchen), a long hike in the woods with my son, and a swim at one of the local lakes of my choosing.

To top off the evening, we treated ourselves to an ice cream. After all, as a loving, hard-working father and husband, I think I have earned it.

I also did the cooking because I am the best chef in the house. And Terri certainly doesn't mind me commandeering our kitchen to cook dinner.

Being a father is the toughest and the most satisfying profession in the world. Fathers, like moms, only get one take to get it right when raising children. There are no do-overs, and what parents say and do will affect their children the rest of their lives.

That's a colossal obligation, and unfortunately, there are parents who do not live up to those great expectations, and all of society, especially the child, pays that awful price.

I love the responsibility of being the patriarch of my family. I feel like godfather Don Corleone without the violence. I welcomed the enormous responsibilities of raising a child, and I believe I have it done it well, and I think my son's kindness reflects our love for him.

I was present in the delivery room when Anthony made his entrance. I wore surgical clothes when he was delivered by C-section. No, I didn't faint because the doctors knew what they were doing, and a little blood doesn't bother me.

I cried as I cut the umbilical cord. My dad thought I was nuts when I decided to watch the whole procedure unfold. Well, I am nuts, but that's a subject for another blog. 

And I thought my dad really knew me.

Anthony was placed in my arms. I noticed he had a full head of hair. I told him to get a job. He just looked at me and smiled. I trembled as I held him, but I was not frightened at being the caretaker of a human life.

I knew nine months ago that I wanted the job.

Terri, who had to do all the hard work of carrying a child to term, was in pain. She was given pain killers. I wanted a valium to ease my nerves. Watching a delivery and the huge sacrifices women make to deliver a healthy child over nine months makes all moms heroic figures.

But I believe it still takes two to raise a child. Parents make a huge contribution to the world when we raise a responsible human being. 

It is our sworn duty, and that contract between child and parents should last a lifetime.

For the next two days, I resided at Maine Medical Center in Portland, learning how to care for my newborn son. My feet still hadn't touched the ground after his arrival. I was on a natural high, and I couldn't wait to hold him throughout the day.

My father asked: "Who is going to take care of your son during the day." I said, "I am, dad. Who else."

He was astonished, but I was not surprised by his look. Stay-at-home dads (I worked nights) in my father's generation were rare.

For the next six years, I was Anthony''s guide during the day shift. Terri took over when she got home in the afternoon. Day care was out of the question for our son.

Anthony and I went to libraries, visited other children, and toured museums. TV was limited and video games were a no-no. There are no video games in this house to this day. Cable television also got the heave-ho.

Some would call me cruel, but I really hate TV.

This Sunday, Anthony took a long hike with his old man at Range Pond. We talked about everything during our two-mile journey around the pristine lake. I am amazed that he still enjoys my company.

Hey, every day I wake up and see my family standing before me makes me realize why I really enjoy my job.

After all, every day is Father's Day. Just take a good look at your family.