Late bloomer

“The green thumb is equable in the face of nature's uncertainties; he moves among her mysteries without feeling the need for control or explanations or once-and-for-all solutions. To garden well is to be happy amid the babble of the objective world, untroubled by its refusal to be reduced by our ideas of it, its indomitable rankness.” 
― Michael Pollan, Second Nature: A Gardener's Education

AUBURN — A month-long deluge, which produced enough rain to nudge the ill-fated Titanic free from a sandbar, put a huge strain on gardens across central Maine.

According to a story in the newspaper I work for, the Sun Journal reported there was 20 days of precipitation in June, which means my garden and pallid Mainers only saw 10 days of sun. The Pine Tree State was on the receiving end of 7.32 inches of rain in June. The norm is 3.57 inches.

All this London-like weather and soupy mess meant all gardens were either washed away or struggled to grow against the gray sky.

But what a difference a month makes despite this summer's pathetic start.

Just when I thought I my garden would become as worthless as bunch of weeds, July heated up in the nick of time and broiled the Northeast in a week-long heat wave that made us all long for some cool, Canadian air. Everything will be late this season, but better late than never.

The sun was like the cavalry in those old western movies. The bright-burning star rescued my damp garden from oblivion.

And then it happened. My garden began to grow and came to fruition in the sweltering July heat. This season's harvest won't rival last year's bounty, but at least I am seeing results despite June's monsoons and a groundhog assault that sent me looking for Army-surplus artillery. These bastards gnawed on my broccoli and chewed up nearly all of my lettuce. My neighbor and I captured a total of five of these destructive creatures and banished them to a nearby lake where they are sunning themselves on the shoreline. If they come back, I will take these bastards out for a walk, but they know better not to make an appearance.

The cucumbers survived and I have picked about a dozen of them. The hardy broccoli flourished after the groundhogs conveniently went missing (I did not report their disappearance to the proper authorities). I am growing big-boy tomatoes, and they are pretty damn big and there are plenty of them. Colleagues who have sampled these prize tomatoes say they are so sweet and delicious. 

Their accolades make me blush with pride. But I am a master gardener, and I am that good.

Right now, I am preparing at least 10 bags of frozen spaghetti sauce and using the rest of the tomatoes for grilled-cheese sandwiches. 

My carrots took a hit, and I will only get a few of those. After most of my lettuce was ravaged by these fur bags, I planted Swiss chard and spinach, and I recently picked nearly a shopping bag full of the green stuff, and it really is good stuff.

My biggest surprise is the way my summer squash came to life after I planted it by seed. I had never planted squash from seed before. I usually purchase seedlings from a local farmer and take my chances with Mother Nature. My green peppers also surprised me.

I did manage to grow two huge sun flower plants by seed. I lost several of them to the jaws of my nemesis — the groundhog. They now stand seven-feet tall, and could give any NBA player a hard time underneath the net.

I think there are two reasons why my garden endured a wet beginning to summer. It is slanted and the water drains to one corner, and I use grass clippings to smother weeds. The rain also has a hard time penetrating the clippings, which also add nitrogen to the plants.

But I will take anything the garden yields because store-bought produce will never, ever stand up to my healthy vegetables.

Star Wars

Besides my passion for gardening, I also enjoy cooking in the kitchen and on my deck. I recently received a Brinkman smoker grill. It looks like R2-D2, but the diminutive robot can't cook meat and vegetables like the Brinkman.

I know Obi-won Kenobi and Luke Skywalker wouldn't mind sampling one of my culinary delights prepared on this R2-D2 wannabe.

Good show, England

"Democracy no longer works for the poor if politicians treat them as a separate race."

                                         Frank Field, British Labour Party politician

Dear good citizens of the United Kingdom,

Pay no attention to an American from across the way.

Mitt Romney's critical comments were uncalled for and unfortunately became a small distraction to a world-class event — the London Olympics.


Romney, who desperately wants to be the next resident in the White House, was trying to prove he is an authority on foreign policy and belongs on the world stage, but his visit hardly won the hearts and minds of the British people. Insulting one of America's staunchest allies didn't help persuade the world that he has honed his diplomatic skills.


I can see why Brits might be offended when the GOP's presidential hopeful questioned London's handling of the Olympics. The British government doesn't need an arm-chair critic to conduct its affairs.


After all, England is a nation that gave us Winston Churchill, World War II General Bernard Law Montgomery, William Shakespeare, Henry Purcell, Charles Darwin, Ernest Shackleton, Charles Dickens (one of my favorite writers), Masterpiece Theater and most importantly — the Beatles.

By the way, chaps, Prince Charles and I share a common bond - we are avid environmentalists who love gardening.

Despite a world economy that remains fragile at best and the constant threat of terrorism, Great Britain forged ahead to gather athletes from across the globe to compete in London.

Pulling off such a succesful extravaganza in these tumultuous times is a Herculean task for any free nation. I am also convinced that the British government has taken every precaution to insure the safety of athletes and spectators.

I know a majority of Americans believe Brits are a splendid people who have done a bang-up job when it came to organizing such a spectacle.

Look half of America has trouble taking this presidential candidate seriously. I urge Londoners to dismiss his comments and enjoy your moments in the sun for the next two weeks.

By the way, England, good show!