Green thumbs up

AUBURN, Maine — A sunny forecast means all systems are go to plant my garden this Memorial Day weekend.

I am giddy just thinking about it because Mother Nature has given me the green light to get down and dirty with the rich soil in my well-groomed backyard.

I have an old beat-up radio on standby for that afternoon. Listening to the Red Sox, no matter how pathetic they might be, is a glorious way to spend an afternoon planting a garden. And then there is the option of imbibing a dark beer brewed right here in the Pine Tree State.

Sure, Mother Nature is an old fuss and quite sassy, but according to our local weathermen, the sun will burn brightly in the sky. If our weathermen screw up, I will know who to blame, and I will become as nasty as Mother Nature. I will show up with the rest of the farmers bearing sickles and torches, calling the weathermen out.

I know how these town folk can be when the weather lets them down.

Of course, we are talking about an extended forecast that can change on a dime in New England. Weather is fickle up here in north country. Never ever take your eye off the forecast — especially if you are a serious gardener like me. It is like taking your eye off a Clemens fastball that can peel away your skin with its velocity.

All gardeners mean business even though they understand they are at the mercy of the elements.

But if Mother Nature delivers this weekend, I am weeks away from eating fresh fruit and vegetables. It also means I won't be handing over my money to grocery stores to purchase expensive produce that is anything but organic.

Here on the Ponderous, we don't use chemicals and other crap to grow vegetables. It is verboten. I am like a damn hippy when it comes to going all natural to raise stuff you can eat without getting poisoned. I know Little Joe, Hoss, Adam and the patriarch of the family — Ben Cartwright — would agree with me.

Sure, I use fertilizer to get the ball rolling, but it is all natural compost. No dam chemicals.

I ran the tiller over my garden a second time last weekend, and since it is nothing more than one giant compost pile, the soil is looking real good.

So it is off to Farmer Whitings to purchase seedlings and to visit with fellow gardeners who also like to see things grow.

The rest is up to nature.