Recovered family movie triggers trail of tears

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AUBURN — Trails to our parents’ distant past can often be found in damp basements and cluttered closets of their homes.

If you follow these disappearing paths, sometimes you get lucky and unearth something they never told you about from their past.

When my father died, the depressing obligation of cleaning out his home fell to his offspring.

Rummaging through my parents’ personal belongings made me feel like a cat burglar trying to get his hands on jewelry and credit cards. The grief you are feeling rises exponentially
when you throw out or donate your parents’ personal items.

There were several boxes stuffed with pictures of their lives frozen in black-and-white and color stills.

I became the designated the caretaker of our family’s photographs. There were hundreds of photos of McClure Street, the Blizzard of 1978, Waterford, Penn., and the Tall Ships sailing into Boston during the nation’s bicentennial in July 1976. 

We recorded the events of our lives with an old Polaroid camera.

When I began sifting through the pictures, we discovered about 20 feet of eight-millimeter film in a small box. My mother’s uncle, Rocco Conte, shot the film in 1958. It was a mystery for my son and me, but there it was, sitting in a box in my parents’ home for 58 years.

We tried to see what was on the reel, but it was impossible to make out all the images. A couple of weeks ago, I suggested we leave it to the professionals and we took it to a business where they transfer millimeter film to DVD.

After all, who still owns a projector! 

Photo Finish transferred the film to DVD in just two weeks. 

We picked up four copies, rushed home and shoved one of the discs into the DVD player.

The 2:59 second film was footage of their 1958 wedding in living color. I sat still, my eyes widened before they filled with a stream of tears. My wife and I watched it over and over, and through our watery eyes, we marveled at the silent, color images of the wedding. 

It was a cinematic glimpse of my Italian heritage and the relatives and friends who are no longer here.

Why didn't they tell us there was film! I could have made this for them a decade ago.

It took three minutes to transform me into an emotional train wreck and resurrect the grief I felt when I buried my dad with full military honors in November 2014.

I watched my smiling mom and her pristine white dress enter the church. Our young and handsome Italian father had a wide grin on his face as the crowd began throwing rice at the newlyweds.

The film was like a silent movie and the key actors were my mom and dad. I saw my grandmother, my uncle Rock, Carol and other people who have passed into eternity.

Watching those long lost images of the their past made me realize their absence in our lives still hurts like hell.

Those feelings of loss never go away and watching them drive away in the film to a honeymoon in Canada snapped my heavy heart in two.

But those images of my parents were worth a good cry and it won’t be the last time I shed a tear when I watch this must-see rare film of my parents in the prime of their lives.

Going on holiday and a lost gift from the past is discovered

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!” 

― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

REVERE, Mass. — Blame it on the warm weather for my Christmas cheer and indomitable holiday spirit.

A week and half ago, we traveled Revere to celebrate the Yuletide with family and friends. It was the first Christmas I didn’t have to cook. I had become a man of leisure — at least for two days —and could enjoy the holiday without slaving over a hot stove.

You see, I didn't just survive the holidays. I enjoyed them for the first in a long time. Now I embrace the mayhem and the insanity that goes along with Christmas and Thanksgiving. I guess I always enjoyed the madness.

We left cloudy and cool Maine, and by the time we approached the Massachusetts coast on Christmas Eve, the warm embrace of a shining sun and a warm sea breeze greeted us.

The temperature rose to 70 degrees in the dead of a New England December. There have been warm Christmases in the past, but this was beach weather. It was astounding — and unheard of at this time of year. The warm sun put everybody in a good mood and the thought of

dreaming of a white Christmas would end up being an ordinary nightmare.

Before we checked into our room at the Red Roof Inn in Saugus, Mass., we had lunch with a generous cop friend of mine at the Prince Pizzeria on Route 1. The restaurant features a huge replica of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, only it is spelled pizza. My father took us there years ago, and of course, the fading memories of my parents suddenly became clear as we seated ourselves to feast on fried calamari and chicken wings.

After a small meal and trading tales about the old neighborhood, my friend and I parted company. We checked into our room at the motel before we made the three-mile ride to Revere.

We visited my uncle before we touched down at my sister’s three-story home, where 25 family members and friends waited to devour a 20-course meal complete with shrimp linguini and succulent stuffed mushrooms. The difficult part of my visit with relatives is glancing at our family home, which was sold eight months ago after my father died. It is next to my uncle’s house. When I stood before Al and Louise’s house, a house that once provided shelter to a loving family of six, I wanted to see my dad part the curtains at the picture window and beckon us to come inside to see mom, but my parents are gone.

The curtains were closed, anyway, and the my parents’ home, a loving, a modest home that was built in 1966, was occupied by new owners.

I turned and headed for the car, vowing not to spoil the holiday with my brief bout of melancholy.

I arrived at my sister’s home and was given a hero’s welcome. My mood improved with each hug I received from family members.

We ate, drank and we were merry despite the loss of loved ones, but I swear the warm weather helped us all feel better. We held a Yankee swap on my sister’s deck Christmas Eve. Nobody wore a jacket as a full Christmas moon appeared and lit up the yuletide sky. It was like a late spring day in the Greater Boston area.

A gift from the past

The kitchen table in any Italian home is a meeting place for the family. That was true for our clan as well.

After my parents passed, we divided up everything, including the Christmas decorations last April. When we decorated our tree and hung my parents decorations at my home, we discovered a Christmas ornament that my parents never gave their niece.

We gathered around at my sister’s home and presented our niece with the intended gift from her grandmother. I don’t know why the holiday ornament remained in a box downstairs in my parents’ home for the past 27 years. Perhaps, my mom forgot or she was waiting to give it to her niece at the right moment. The small mystery didn’t matter. The ornament has been delivered 27 years later.

Maybe, that small reminder of my parents was our small Christmas miracle this season. We certainly needed one after losing so many important people in our lives.

Christmas by the beach

Imagine walking the beach on Christmas day in spring-like temperatures with NO snow on the ground!

We checked out early and headed to Revere Beach, where the temperature was a balmy 65 degrees Christmas morning. Runners and bikers dressed in T-shirts and shorts wished us a Merry Christmas as they raced by on the boulevard. We spent over an hour walking on the sand and marveling at the warm temperatures. Winter set up shop by Thanksgiving and last Christmas was bleak and cold.

The walk, the sound of the waves and salt air presented us with Christmas morning that we would never be forgotten.

My mother loved the beach and my parents would buy coffee and sit on the wall during warm summer nights and chilly autumn days.

I felt them both in my heart this holiday. They were right there with us as we briskly walked along the sandy New England beach. My parents gave me life and a lifetime of love, and my sweet memories of them keep me going through each season of our lives.

Perhaps Christmas also serves to remind us of what is truly important in our lives.

Winds of time

AUBURN, Maine — The problem with living a long life is that you lose people along the way, and when they leave, you are only left with powerful memories and their sentimental things that eventually become yours.

I am bringing this old windmill back to life. I wish I could do the same for my mother, Louise.

I am restoring it to honor a mother who meant to so much to her family.

I took the windmill back to Maine months after her death. It fell in disrepair and was rotting away in her cellar, and I was no longer around to repair it and place it on on their front lawn every spring.

Nobody wanted the dusty old thing, but I wanted to spare the windmill a fate from wasting away in the cellar. My mother and I both loved the bulky ornament. It wasn't anything fancy, but someone in her family made it, and that made it special to her. 

I am resurrecting this windmill out of love, and I wish I could do the same for Louise, who rests under manicured grass and shade provided by three healthy trees at Puritan Lawn Cemetery in Peabody, Mass.

She would love to see me give the neglected windmill a new lease on life. I would like to see her apart of my world again.

My father is not interested in woodworking and wanted no part of it as the windmill's three pieces sat in a remote corner of their damp cellar. So this wooden creation was left abandoned as spiders made a home out it and dampness ruined part of the wood.

She loved this unique lawn ornament because it was designed and built by her Uncle Ted Davis, a true gentleman from Pennsylvania. I only met him once, and I often thought of him as a kind man.

Every spring, she asked me to drag it out of the basement and drive the windmill's two stakes deep into the cold ground and station the wooden structure in the middle of the front lawn.

She was proud it and I was proud of Uncle Ted's design.

It was a tradition that lasted until I began attending college and my thoughts turned to textbooks, sports and girls. We both ended up forgetting about the windmill as life took its twists and turns and my parents became surrounded by loving grandchildren.

For some reason, the windmill wasn't that important to us until her death.

Last May, I packed up some of her treasures, and one of them was the windmill. I was numb as I rummaged through our dead parent's belongings for the first time. It was an unpleasant task and I felt like I as intruding on her personal life.

I didn't have much time to restore it last summer, and I kind of ignored it after carefully repairing one of its broken blades. But this year, my wife demanded that I get it ready for July 4th, and while the passing of time has not removed the nagging grief since her death, I began cleaning it and then painting it.

I painted the mid section a fire-engine red and applied white paint to the blades and the ladder that is attached to the structure with a hinge. I added a coat of blue to the sturdy base of the windmill, giving the restored ornament a "red, white, and blue" patriotic feeling to it.

I know Louise would approve of my work.

Over the years, I think it was overlooked as her four children were busy raising their children. I would see the windmill sitting in that lonely corner whenever I visited her in Revere.

So now the windmill has found a new home about 681 miles from where it originated - Waterford, Pennsylvania.

The 40-year-old windmill will sit in a flower bled in my manicured backyard and remind me of a woman who spent her youth wandering around her relatives' farms in the Keystone State during the Great Depression.