A gardener and the Boston Bruins hit pay dirt

“Gardens are a form of autobiography.” 
                                                 ― Sydney Eddison, Growing Older with Your Garden: How to  Garden Wiser as You Grow Older

AUBURN, Maine — The dirty deed is done.

I am not talking about the Boston Bruins dealing out a can of ass-whooping against the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Big Bad Asses from Boston won four straight, and I am confident the Stanley Cup is theirs just as sure as the late U.S. Gen. George S. Patton took Palermo and beat British Gen. Bernard Mongomery to capture Messina during the Sicily campaign in World War II.

Kudos to my beloved Bruins who have the skills, talent and the finesse to beat the Blackhawks for the Stanley Cup, which begins Wednesday night.

When I mention dirt, I am talking about my garden, which I planted last week. I also planted flowers next to the miniature windmill to brighten up the place, but I prefer plants you can consume at the dinner table.

I like really good dirt. I like the texture of good soil.  I enjoy eating fresh vegetables that grow in good dirt that is not polluted by fertilizers or pesticides. When I see that dark, rich black gold mixed with a year's worth of compost churn under the blades of a powerful tiller, I want to plunge my hands into the soil and begin planting.

That's why I like getting my hands dirty each spring. I have played in dirt all my life, and I think I am a better man for it.

My garden will feature summer squash (from seed), egg plant, zucchini, 18 tomato plants, broccoli, lettuce, Swiss chard (from seed), spinach (from seed), and carrots (from seed). My garden is like an old variety show from 1970s, and the stars are vegetables.

But I must warn all amateur gardeners that varmints are out and about and will wreak havoc on all green thumbs. The groundhogs have already bushwhacked my place, and my lettuce seedlings took a hit. I have now placed a bounty on the furry bastards. These nuisances better be looking over their shoulders.

I am not sure about our climate this growing season. April resembled March and May looked helluva lot like April. June has been an up-and-down month that continues to confound me. The monsoons are upon us and I am hoping my garden will hold up this season.

Farmers understand they are at the whim of nature and there is not a damn thing gardeners can do about it, either. The little varmints like aphids and Japanese beetles will come to know the swift hand of natural poisons.

So we roll the dice and take our chances, hoping our gardens yield a bumper crop that saves us some dough and provides us our recommended daily serving of organic vegetables.

Gardening is a dirty business, but amateur farmers like us have to do it.

Besides, we are going to love our vegetables. I guarantee it.