“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
AUBURN — I am seeking revenge against a pair of Samaritans who had the gall to be nice to me.
Can you believe these guys! The nerve of them for being decent and kind people!
I want my pound of flesh (see Shakespeare). And remember, no good deed goes unpunished.
It was an extraordinary act of generosity committed by two of the finest human beings to walk the planet.
Now I want to pay them back, and the only way I can is to return the favor and be nice to them, too. They won't see it coming, but no doubt they will be looking over their shoulders. They know I am out there, dreaming up some devious plan of my own act of kindness.
The two conspirators are named Mike and Don - two common names for two uncommon men who exude decency and integrity. These are smart guys who give a damn about the right in things in life. These are guys with common sense and believe in the greater good.
They have their heads on straight, which means they will never have a future in American politics. Their reputations are beyond reproach, and I wouldn't get within 10 feet of them if they weren't such wonderful human beings.
Here's what these guys contrived to trigger my tirade.
Don is my neighbor who offered me the heating oil in his tank at no charge to me. He made the wise choice to switch to natural gas, shaking off the shackles of greedy oil companies. He is a great guy who shares his vast knowledge with me, and I of course, can always use a few pointers as a home owner.
Anyway, his oil tank needed to be removed as well as the oil in it. That's where Mike, a co-conspirator, comes in.
Mike is an adept plumber and another fine example of humanity. This young man served his country in the United State Air Force as a mechanic repairing the feared B-1 bombers in Saudi Arabia for 10 years. Mike's experiences in the Middle East remind me of T.E. Lawrence, who tried to unite the tribes at the conclusion of World War I.
Don needed a plumber and Mike needed work, and the both of them decided to be nice to me. The two also became friends, and like expatriate Rick Blaine and French inspector Louise Renault in "Casablanca," it just might be the start of a beautiful friendship.
Well, after Mike transferred the oil to my tank and removed Don's tank from his cellar, my honest plumber and friend knocked on my door to inform me the job was completed. He had quoted me a ridiculously reasonable price to transfer the oil a couple of weeks ago.
"Hey Mike, how much do I owe you," I asked.
"You are all set," he said with a wide smile.
We looked at each other. "C'mon, what do I owe you," I demanded.
"We settled it between ourselves," Mike explained.
That was it; the deal was sealed - without my say in the matter.
That meant I was on the receiving end of about $440.00 worth of free oil thanks to the kindness of two gentlemen. My tank is nearly full because of these thoughtful jokers.
I offered Mike coffee, paying for lunch, frozen vegetables from my garden and the keys to my car.
OK, well three can play at this game as I figure out how to respond to such kindness.
They better keep looking over their shoulders. I am going to get those guys and it will be pretty.
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