Preserving the union

AUBURN, Maine — Marriage requires tenacity, compassion, understanding and the willingness to go bungee jumping — every day.

It's right up there with cliff diving, treasure hunting, rafting on the Amazon or driving in Massachusetts.
 

When two people give monogamy a chance, well, it's like jumping off a bridge with with an enormous rubber band attached to your midsection. You are taking a big chance on a person who just wandered into your life and turned your world upside down - all in the name of love and happiness. 

It is also sort of like leaping out of a perfectly good plane with a parachute. You are counting on that chute to open, but in marriage you are putting all your money on your spouse to help break your fall - every day.

Anthony and Terri hanging out at Two Lights in Cape Elizabeth last summer.

Marriage isn't a cakewalk. It requires a lot of damn work, patience and stamina. Anybody who tells you its a cinch suffered head trauma after the bungee cord snapped.

I have been married 21 years and I still don't know if I am doing it right. But I can tell you this, it has been one helluva of ride and I would be the first in line to try it all over again with just one woman - Terri. We have been married for over two decades, which is a test to our endurance or insanity - take your pick. I believe our union is held together by two people who really dig each other, and there is no secret to our affection.
 

Terri is one of the most resilient and remarkable human beings I have ever met, and get this, she finds a way to put up with me each day. I am glad she is not billing me for this successful relationship. I could not afford to pay this kind soul, who turned out to be an outstanding mother and raised a fine son.
 

Truth be told, we have experienced our ugly moments and tragic events that puts every marriage to the test. Our union is not perfect, but we try to make it function each day. It will always be a work in progress - especially when you are raising a child, and that is another full-time job that puts additional stress on a marriage, but we both would not have it any other way.


I was fortunate to listen to an audio essay on National Public Radio during an afternoon commute. I must apologize for forgetting the producer of this wonderful piece. The speaker wisely said that marriage requires both spouses to bring their excess emotional baggage to the relationship and then unload it together. Terri and I have unloaded a lot emotional issues together over the past 21 years, and still our marriage survives.

 

That wonderful radio essay is not only accurate but endearing. Marriage is work and every relationship needs a tune-up as the years pass.
 

Despite 21 years of marriage, which we are celebrating today, I can honestly say I wouldn't bat an eye if I had to jump off a cliff with Terri over the next 20 years. 


She's worth the fall.

Keeper of my soul

Remember, you hold my heart in your soft and gentle hands while we continue take a firm stand and struggle against this bland life.

So for goodness sakes, let us never part because
you are indeed a work of art

You are the keeper of my soul, a beacon of light

so please don't lose sight of our love,
or I just might fade into the night

We've been together for decades now

The years fade, yet we continue to wade through time

as we turn a blind eye to the passing of our primes

Our love still endures and I will always find you oh so alluring

Your charm and compassion will never be out of fashion. You are a fine mother like no other.

And there's your son who understands you will always be number one.

And now we have this opportunity to celebrate another anniversary

We've experienced our numerous ups and downs, but 

that never stopped us from clowning around

We have lost so many loved ones along way, and 

even though it's not OK, we still find a way to make it through the day.

So let us honor this union and hope there will be more reunions

Let's take the good with the bad in a marriage that has withstood its tribulations and temptations

So remember, this heart you hold, which is frayed and has some tares, should always be handled with loving care

Anthony Blasi, March 24, 2011