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Showing posts with label Gone with the wind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gone with the wind. Show all posts

Sunday, March 24, 2013

A union of devotion






AUBURN, Maine — What is so perfect about our marriage is perfection does not exist.

After 23 years of being together, we want no part of being labeled the perfect couple. It is a reputation nearly impossible to live up to in any lifetime.

Today is March 24th — our anniversary and a another milestone for us.

Talk about a relationship that has seen its peaks and valleys. Our partnership has been a roller coaster of raw emotion tempered by a great deal of love and respect for each other.

We are fast approaching the quarter century mark of a union that somehow continues to endure. We don't take our commitment for granted because we both understand our marriage demands a lot of blood, sweat and tears to prevent it from dissolving like remnants of a March snowstorm slowly disappearing in the spring sun.

We've been through adversity in our lifetimes, but we are damn lucky to weather these sad moments together and not have to survive those cold nights without any sort of companionship

Throw in a wonderful son, and well, we are living the life even though we walk on the edge of a tight budget. But that could said of most married couples who are raising children as mom and dad struggle with their finances.

That's what good parents do when it comes to raising  a child  the most important job on this planet.

This has been a warm relationship sprinkled with moments of loud disagreements. I would be lying if I said every confrontation ends with a peck on the cheek. And there are days when I am Darth Vader and she is Obi-Won Kenobi, and out come the light sabers at the dinner table.

But as a couple, we find common ground and amicably settle our disagreements with no hard feelings. Both parties are left standing and leave the battlefield with their honor intact.

Marriage isn't easy. Someone once said marriage is where two people come together to unload their baggage. I think that is true and necessary to keep a union from unraveling from outside forces that often test a strong partnership.

Look, whenever I walk through the door and holler, "Honey, I am home," don't look for Terri to run to door and greet me with a loving embrace. She is no Scarlet O'Hara and I am no Rhett Butler.

And frankly I don't give a damn if we don't act like the two main characters in "Gone with the Wind."

At the end my day, I often hear: "Hey, you got some dishes to do. We need to do wash. Anthony has a doctor's appointment Someone has got to wash the floor. I need money to pay this bill."

The cat sometimes get more attention than me, and Tabby doesn't even cook or do dishes.

But I am relieved that Terri hasn't decided to trade me in for a younger model with washboard abs and dark, brown hair.

I don't know what the universe has in store for us the next 23 years. But I still see stars when I see my wife at the end of the day.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

The 12 Days of Christmas, Day 12: Merry Christmas.

“A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world!”
      - Ebenezer Scrooge from Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol."
                                                                                      









AUBURN, Maine  — Like the Cratchit family, we were making rather merry as we opened our Christmas gifts Tuesday morning.

We are both employed, consider ourselves lucky to have presents under the tree and a sturdy roof over our heads in an area of the world where there is no fighting in the streets.

I think we all cleaned up on Christmas. 

Anthony startled his parents with his good taste. We discovered he is a prudent shopper and purchased all his gifts at bargain-basement prices at church fair. 

My son gave me a copy of the movie, "PT-109," the first two seasons of "Combat," "13 Rue Madelaine," "MASH," and "Shane." Terri received episodes of "Murder She Wrote,"  "Agatha Christie," and the anniversary edition of "Gone with the Wind."

Anthony was on the receiving end of many gifts. He is a voracious reader of history so we surprised the lad with a copy of James MacPherson's  "War on the Waters."  MacPherson is an authority on the Civil War, and he has written another great book about the war's naval battles.

I enjoyed my coffee and added a little special something to it as we crowded around the tree to open gifts on Christmas morning.

I tried to keep memories of past Christmases from reappearing, but I couldn't stop thinking about all that has went before in my life.

That's what happens when you go on living. Those bittersweet memories will always get in the way as long as we remain above ground.

My two sisters called from Massachusetts, and I was grateful to hear their voices. I called my dad who is struggling to speak in complete sentences. Alzheimer's is winning and we are all slowly losing a father to this excruciating disease.

There are moments when I think I have forgotten to call my mother, but reality brutally backhands me when I remember she is no longer in her kitchen drinking coffee and listening to the news.

The exchange of gifts continued and I focused on the present. I watched the smiles on the faces of my son and wife when they ripped off the rapping of each gift.

We did something nice for someone else this Christmas. We invited an elderly neighbor, who has been knocked around in life like the rest of us, to spend the yuletide with us.

Who wants to spend a holiday alone? So we reached out to another human being because that is what this holiday is really all about.

We had just finished exchanging gifts when it began to snow hard.

I just added another spectacular memory of a wonderful Christmas.

That's what happens when you go on living.


Out and about

Take a walk on the wild side around New England's outdoors. Come walk with my son and I as we explore state parks, historic sites, and creepy cemeteries. This is the good stuff in life, and there is nothing worth watching on television, anyway. Join us as we take advantage of Maine's beaches and pristine forests. In between our sojourns through the Pine Tree State, look for political insight and a few well-written opinion pieces as well.